'Don't try to probe my heart'
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| Caller-Times file |
| Selena
at age 15 (left) with Abraham and Suzette at the Dallas State Fair. |
Abe
Quintanilla sees reminders of his daughter daily, not only on anniversary
By Mary Lee Grant
Caller-Times
How do you feel about your daughter's death? Would Selena have
liked the movie and the play? Are you still sad? Are you healing?
Abraham Quintanilla was fielding phone call after phone call from
the news media, sitting beneath pictures of his famous daughter, in the studio
where he made her famous, as the fifth anniversary of her death approached.
"I am tired of these "preguntas necia (stupid questions)'' he said.
"Everyone is asking me all these off-the-wall questions.
"Don't try to probe my heart. People keep asking me how I feel. How
do they think I feel?''
Abraham Quintanilla is a man of contradictions. He is at home at
the Astor Café in the industrial part of town. He's comfortable chatting with
Jennifer Lopez, who portrayed his daughter in the movie "Selena," or attending
the Grammy Awards, for which his son, A.B. Quintanilla, was nominated this year.
Abraham Quintanilla has produced a movie but has never been to a
play. That'll change soon when he goes to see the new one about his daughter's
life.
He wears two matching diamond pinky rings on each hand, casual clothes,
and a straw hat and sunglasses indoors.
'One constant memory'
He is still sad about his daughter's death. He just doesn't
want to talk about it.
"The day she died is not a day I like to remember,'' Quintanilla
said. "For me, there is nothing about the five-year anniversary to celebrate.
We certainly don't have any events planned.
"Besides, I remember her every day. Every time I turn on the radio,
I hear her songs. Every time I turn on the television, I see her.
"Just look around you,'' he said pointing at the Selena pictures.
"We used to work in this studio together all day long. So every day is one constant
memory for me.''
Spirituality and the closeness of his family have helped him
move forward in the five years since his daughter was murdered, he said.
"It says in the Bible that death is just a sleep,'' he said. "My
daughter is asleep. She died and was buried and her body disintegrated. But she
is being held in God's memory for the time of the resurrection. I don't believe
in all this stuff about hellfire and heaven.''
Quintanilla said that even though he isn't active in the Jehovah's
Witnesses, he still holds their beliefs.
"My religious beliefs have helped me survive this,'' he said. "They
are what brought me comfort.''
He said that he is pleased, but not surprised, to see what a
role model his daughter has become.
"People really look up to her,'' he said. "I think it was mainly
because she was a positive person, a good person. She wasn't a controversial person.
I think people understand that somehow. She was also a beautiful person. I guess
it is the whole combination.
"But what is interesting to me is these little girls who are 4 or
5 years old and they weren't even alive when Selena died. But they love her and
they know the words to her songs. That makes me happy. My daughter is living on
in people's memories.''
Selena the icon
Quintanilla's religious beliefs make him uncomfortable with
those who want to make his daughter an icon.
"I think that a lot of the attention that is given to stars should
be given to God,'' Quintanilla said. "It is wrong to worship Selena.''
Forgiveness for his daughter's killer hasn't been as difficult for
him as others may suppose.
"It isn't something that is just happening now,'' he said. "It started
from day one. You can't live with that level of hate. It I had hated that much,
it would have destroyed me. And it wouldn't have brought my daughter back.''
'Keep her alive'
As the fifth anniversary of his daughter's death approached,
Quintanilla said, he was besieged by requests by the news media for interviews,
most of which he has turned down.
"I understand and appreciate the interest in her,'' he said. "But
at the same time, I get tired of always having my emotions examined. But I still
talk to them. Maybe for me, it is a way I can keep her alive.''
Plus he has a business to run. Quintanilla is busier than ever, producing
records for about eight musicians, recording, and overseeing what has become a
vast empire of Selena-related merchandise.
He has nothing to do with the production of the play "Selena Forever,''
which premiered in San Antonio in March, but says he can't wait to see it.
"It will be a first for me, so I'm very excited,'' he said. "I have
never seen a play. I'm excited that I'll be seeing any play, but especially one
about my daughter.''
As he is asked to recount memories of Selena, one in particular
keeps coming to mind.
"One of the things that I thought was exceptional about Selena was
how loving she was. A lot of people can't say the words 'I love you.' But Selena
always said it. If she saw you 15 times a day, she would say 'I love you.' I think
that was very special.''
He also remembers that she showed a knack for business even in childhood.
"She would go to the 7-Eleven and buy a lot of candy and resell it
to her friends at school. She would also decorate the erasers of pens with cotton
balls and glue on tiny eyes and sell them to the other kids. The teachers complained
and I told her she shouldn't make money off her friends. She said. 'Why, not?'
She always had the spirit of an entrepreneur."
It is, perhaps, a trait she inherited from her father, and one that
can be seen throughout the family.
No apologies
Abraham Quintanilla sees no reason to apologize for continuing
to market Selena - just like Selena saw no problem reselling candy to her friends.
At the moment he is working on a video of Selena's 1995 concert at
the Astrodome, along with behind-the-scenes footage of the making of the movie.
"If people criticize me for making money on Selena, I don't know
about it,'' Quintanilla said. "And if they do, I don't care. I don't care what
other people think. I never have.''
Staff writer Elain Liner can be reached at 886-3752 or by e-mail at
grantm@caller.com
