Sunday, Feb. 7, 1999

Valentine's Day program touts abstinence

Middle, high school students asked to wait until marriage

   Decadent chocolate, delicate roses, designer lingerie . . . it is the message that sells on Valentine's Day.
   But one local church is seizing the "day of love" to remind teens the holiday is more than what commercialism has made of it. The message: To reserve for the only Valentine who will truly matter one of the greatest gifts they can share.
   "Sexuality is one of the greatest gifts given to men and women," said Monsignor Michael Heras of Our Lady of Perpetual Help Catholic Church, which is sponsoring the sexual abstinence program Feb. 14. "We tell our young people over and over, `If God is calling you to be married, your future spouse is out there already, waiting for you. I ask you, even before you meet them, to be faithful to them in every possible way.' "
   Although talking about sex is uncomfortable for many parents, it's a topic of discussion that should not be avoided, said John Peed, co-founder of Choices, the abstinence-based sex education program to be presented at the church, 5830 Williams Drive. The program is open to students in grades 6 through 12. It begins with a parent session at 1:30 p.m.
   "The question is: Do you deal with it now or when they come home pregnant? Open the lines of communication and make it an honest communication."

Hearing the message

   Peed and his wife, Shelly, co-facilitators of the program, are teachers at Kerrville's Tivy High School and run an educational consulting firm. The Peeds share with their audience up-to-date information on sexually transmitted diseases and statistics from the Texas Department of Health. They've made similar presentations at their own school, churches and Catholic schools in San Antonio.
   Anonymous surveys conducted after each presentation have yielded encouraging information, John Peed said. Students are asked if, after hearing their message, they will abstain from premarital sex. "We always get those with the stupidity syndrome; their brains are in their shorts. On the whole, at least we get a lot of unsures. Ninety-five percent say they are either unsure or yes, they will wait; 5 percent say they will have sex anyway and play the odds."
   It isn't easy for youths to abstain from sex, Heras said, because they are bombarded by messages of sex in "commercials, the music, the videos, the movies -- even the Internet. Every time you look around, it's sex here and sex there."

Living for another

   With a new millennium approaching, mistakes from the past can be learning experiences, Heras said.
   "What if we were to . . . boldly say that we are moving from a century of self to a century of the gift of self? In this we would discover what love really is, after having painfully learned what it is not, nor ever been.
   "It has been said that in the 20th century, young people have had it all. As we close this century and move slowly into the next, it looks as if young people have just had it. (They) have been burned so many times. They have heard the empty promises, the one-liners, the come-on phrases and the smiling lies. Now try an age-old remedy."
   For program registration or more information, call 991-7891. Sylvia R. Longoria can be reached at 886-3718 or by e-mail at longorias@caller.com