Thursday, Nov. 12, 1998

Tradition of serving unites generations

Family's spiritual legacy provides valuable heirloom

   There are many ways to pass along family history. Photographs, a lock of hair, a matriarch's needlework or a prized recipe can become a piece of a family puzzle that keeps growing with each new breath of life.
   And then there are those who need no tangible things to connect with a precious past.
   That I found to be true of the Duerr brothers, Kevin, 12, and Matthew, 9.
   When I met them one recent morning, Kevin, a seventh-grader at Incarnate Word Academy, and Matthew, a fourth-grader at St. Patrick's School, were on fall break and were spending the day with their 71-year-old grandfather, Sid Duerr. The two were helping him mow the yard.
   The Duerr brothers didn't have to say a word about their love for Grandpa Sid. That was evident in the way they chattered with him and how eager they were to help him with chores.
   

A family's tradition

   More than anything it's the spiritual glue that bonds these generations. Kevin and Matthew are to their church what their father and grandfather were for theirs - altar boys.
   Grandpa Sid was an altar boy in Webster Groves, Mo. His sons, including Stephen Duerr, Kevin and Matthew's father, served at Ss. Cyril & Methodius Church. Now it is the third generation participating in Sunday services. Kevin is an altar boy at Incarnate Word's chapel and Matthew serves at St. Patrick's.
   "For me it was kind of automatic," said Sid Duerr. "Back then going to Catholic school meant playing a musical instrument, singing in the choir and serving as an altar boy."
   When Kevin and Matthew were born, it was Sid's wife, Joan, who expressed her desire that they also become altar boys.
   And so, years later, their grandmother's wish came true. But by the time Matthew joined 1 years ago, his grandmother was suffering from Alzheimer's.
   Nevertheless, she was in attendance his first day at St. Patrick's.
   "I was holding the paten," Matthew said. "I looked up at her and she looked at me. I just know she knew it was me."
   

Heritage will live on

   Three years ago the boys' grandfather, a petroleum consultant, closed his office and began working out of his home to care for his ailing wife. Joan Duerr sculpted and painted for many years; several of her pieces now belong to Kevin and Matthew.
   Last year, Matthew inherited another heirloom - his grandmother's piano. After all, it was she who taught him to play.
   Matthew is not sure what he'd like to be when he grows up, but this much he is adamant about: "If I have a child, I want to him to be an altar boy."
   Sid Duerr said that was his and his wife's dream but that they didn't push.
   "All I want is for them to be good, Christian gentlemen with good morals," he said. "You don't force them; all you can do is guide them in the right direction and do by example."
   Matthew's favorite part of the Mass, incidentally, is holding a lighted candle during the reading of the Gospel.
   What does he pray for during Mass?
   "I pray for my grandma," he said. "And I pray for grandpa that he be able to keep taking care of grandma."