Despite the 'N Syncer, this film is a stinker

To avoid sounding completely out of touch with boy-band-worshipping younger readers, I'll start with the one golden element of "On the Line," the new film starring Lance Bass and Joey Fatone from 'N Sync.
   Al Green still knows how to lull an audience and his cameo in "On the Line" is the sole example of screen presence and show-stopping talent in the entire lackluster film.
   This cheesy romantic comedy carries the weight of a Cheez-It and the taste of a stale Chee-to. With no depth and little substance in the story, everything boils down to the actors' talents and attributes - and method acting be damned, that leather coat looks good on you, Lance.
   Kevin (Bass) is a hard-working Chicago advertising executive, and he's known among his friends for freezing up in front of pretty girls. When he meets Abbey (Emmanuelle Chriqui) on the elevated train, he lets her get away without asking for her name or number.
   Realizing his mistake, Kevin then plasters flyers all over Chicago asking "Are you her?" and hopes that she'll call. But the only calls are from girls looking for a man who recognizes the romance of littering a metropolitan area with papers bearing his home phone number.
   A newspaper columnist sniffs out the story and, Chicago being a slow news town and all, Kevin's saga is suspiciously carried on the front page of the paper on a daily basis. The entire town gets involved in the search for the mystery woman, as do Kevin's friends (one of whom is played by Syncer Fatone), who agree to try out all of these women for their good pal Kevin.
   Even though both Bass and Fatone spend some time in the film behind the mike (Bass as part of a high school band in a flashback and Fatone as a struggling adult songwriter), it's obvious that both of them are acting like they're acting. That works when you're shooting flashy music videos - an activity both of them are extremely familiar with - but they come off looking drearily green on the big screen.
   "On the Line"? No, it's derailed before it leaves the station.
  
  
  

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