Sunday, May 7, 2000

Singing the wedding cell blues

Wedding videographers Lena and Fred Helle have caught on tape many couples' romantic moments at the altar. But some of the most anticipated ones were ruined by the ringing of cell phones.
   It happened most recently at the Corpus Christi Cathedral, where guests were distracted from the bride and groom momentarily, angry heads caught on tape for all posterity turning to the pews in search of the annoying sound reverberating through the sanctuary.
   "Every couple wants their day to be the perfect wedding," said Lena Helle of Video Memoirs. "So there we were, everyone enjoying a romantic mood, when all of a sudden this cell phone goes off."
   In that instant, the special moment was lost, eclipsed by an abbreviated, digital version of "Take Me Out to the Ballgame."
   Despite shushes and reminders of cell phone etiquette, residents say wireless phones continue ringing during Sunday services, interrupting guest speakers at black-tie functions, the I-do's at weddings and eulogies at funerals.
  
   'A grandiose sense of self'
   "It speaks of a grandiose sense of self where the person views themselves and their immediate world more important than anyone or anything else around them," says Lynn Fisher-Kittay, a local clinical psychologist in private practice. "It's this inability to set appropriate boundaries. Of course, there are legitimate situations where one can't afford to disconnect. Nurses, for example, might be on call or doctors may be needed for emergency surgeries. But there are pagers and phones now where you can stay connected without disturbing anybody."
   Unfortunately, there are plenty of cell phone users who don't opt for that type of equipment and who insist on taking a call whenever, wherever it comes.
   "When you hear one ringing (at an inopportune time), you figure it must be really pressing," said District 33 state Rep. Vilma Luna, D-Corpus Christi. Luna said she has been at numerous occasions, solemn and formal, where cell phone users take calls while a speaker is at the podium or awards are being presented.
   "The truth is it happens so often. There are those who get really embarrassed and quickly move to shut it off. Usually, those are the ones you figure simply forgot to do that before the event. But then there are others who begin a casual conversation. Surely something like that can wait. Get a grip and turn it off."
  
   Time to reprioritize'
   Lena Helle has nothing against cell phones. Hers came in handy to summon police the time she caught a man stealing from women's handbags in the church's bridal dressing room as the nuptials were under way.
   But Helle uses it only for emergencies, unlike the ushers who all of a sudden disappeared when they were needed the most during a wedding she attended last year. Instead of inside the church escorting guests to their seats, they were outside on cell phones, calling friends for score updates to the Washington Redskins vs. Tampa Bay playoff.
   "The thing I don't like about our society is that it's too much after instant gratification," Fisher-Kittay said. "People feel they have to be responded to instantly.
   "When you feel that way, it's time to reprioritize. You control your life. Don't let technology control you."
  
 

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  © 2000 Corpus Christi Caller Times, a Scripps Howard newspaper. All rights reserved.