Tuesday, March 21, 2000

Predictions for Oscars 2000 heavy on 'Beauty,' 'Cider'

Mille grazie for Roberto Benigni. As a multiple winner for his 1998 Holocaust comedy "Life Is Beautiful," the giggly Italian ignited last year's dreary Academy Awards ceremony with some much-needed divertimente.
   "Every organ-a in-a my body is-a excited!" he shouted after leapfrogging over the hairplugs of some of Hollywood's biggest when his name was announced as Best Actor.
   Until that moment in the fourth hour of Oscars '99, every organ in my body had gone numb.
   Yes, a little Viagra is exactly what this annual self-congrat carnival needs. Limping along to miniseries length, the Oscar telecast (airing at 7 p.m. Sunday on ABC) has become one of the least stimulating award orgies of the entire envelope-opening season.
   Recent weeks have found this year's Oscar nominees on a trail of livelier red carpet events, including the Golden Globes (still the splashiest trash-fest of 'em all, if only because the attendees swill free champagne until they're pie-eyed), the SAG Awards (which demonstrate that no one in Hell-Lay does), the Grammys (TV's loudest T&A parade) and the Independent Spirit Awards (aka the Parker Posey-thon).
   Take the good with the bad
   Besides getting Billy Crystal back as host, the best news about this year's Oscars is that they've eliminated those time-eating production numbers vaguely themed around the history of the top hat. No more high-kicking Debbie Allen choreography. No reprises for Rob Lowe and Snow White.
   We will have to endure overwrought renditions of Oscar-nominated tunes from "Toy Story 2" and "Tarzan." But just wait till they try to get around those bleep-words in "Blame Canada" from the "South Park" movie. Could be fun.
   And fun guy Benigni will be back, as is customary, to present the Best Actress statuette at the end of the night. What happens before that is bound to produce the usual critical whines over the tedious technical awards, soggy acceptance speeches and taped tributes to dead stars whose last performance was opposite Gavin MacLeod on "Love Boat" in the '80s.
   But we wouldn't miss it for the world, right?
   Cracking the crystal ball
   Recent weeks have seen all predictions about this year's Oscar winners go kerflooey. The Academy itself was in a tizzy over 4,000 mis-mailed ballots, 55 missing statuettes (recovered Sunday near an L.A. dumpster) and the alleged attempt by The Wall Street Journal to trump the telecast with a survey of voting members. The only repeater from the Golden Globes and SAG Awards (good predictors of the Oscars) was Angelina Jolie.
   Here's who I think will go home with Oscars Sunday night: