On Wheels by Brooks Peterson

Saturday, June 24, 2000

BMW's mind-blowing M5 is all power

In the automotive world, excess is no big deal. There have been entire epochs in which Detroit has turned out nothing but excess. Case in point: Chrysler's entire product line in the late '50s.
   Then there is wretched excess. The '59 Caddies. The '59 Impala. The '61 Plymouth Fury. I rest my case.
   Ah, but understated excess - now, that's something else again. One could perhaps point to the Bentleys of the last couple of decades: cars that blend restrained (bordering - almost - on stuffy) styling with opulence worthy of a rajah - but without that ostentatious Rolls-Royce grille. The giant 600-series Mercedes-Benzes of the '60s might qualify, too.
   Even these worthies, however, pale in comparison with our musical guest of the week: BMW's mind-blowing M5.
   It all boils down to the fact that there's never been anything on the market quite like this vehicle, and, depending on whether BMW decides to continue in this vein, there may never be again.
  
   Stroke-inducing power
   Now, the platform - perhaps "pedestal" would be better - for the M5 is the 5-series BMW sedan. These vehicles themselves (the six-cylinder 528i and the V-8-powered 540i) are no slouches. Ever since their arrival, they have had motoring scribes quivering with ecstasy, differing only on whether the slightly better-handling 528i or the more powerful 540i was the ride of choice.
   The M5, however, banishes both to the sidelines. The heart of the matter is to be found beneath that glistening hood, wherein resides an awesome 4.9-liter V-8 that merely produces 400 hundred horsepower. (The 540i, in case you were wondering, gets you 282 hp: better than OK, but once you've been to the top of the mountain . . .)
   Now, by any standard, that's excessive. This is the sort of car that would leave Ralph Nader, Joan Claybrook and other car-averse individuals utterly non-plussed. And, perhaps, apoplectic. Why would anyone want that much power?
  
   No transmission choice
   That of course misses the point, which is that there are (well-heeled) people out there who do want that much power, and are prepared to pay a lot to get it.
   But you will recall I mentioned understated excess. This is an area in which the M5 shines: You get a couple of very subtle M5 badges (which can be deleted on the order form if you're seriously self-effacing, or just enjoy astounding unwary motorists) and some beefy low-profile tires mounted on snazzy "Chrome Shadow" alloy wheels. But aside from that, there's little to distinguish the M5 visually from its little brothers.
   And that's just the way some of us like it (heh, heh).
  
   Rocket-sled time
   For your 72 grand, there's one thing you don't get: a choice of transmissions. The M5, true to its sporting nature, is available only with a 6-speed manual box. (And a dandy one at that.)
   But understatement does not imply austerity. Inside, you'll encounter beautifully finished wood surfaces virtually everywhere you look, infinitely (and sometimes confusingly) adjustable leather seats. Effortless climate control? But of course. Killer stereo? Ditto.
   Oh, and the by-now obligatory navigation system with video display and an oh-so-gently nagging feminine voice reminding you that you should make a U-turn as soon as possible.
   The M5 driving experience virtually defies description: One finds oneself flailing about for superlatives.
   You can noodle around all day in urban traffic without the car's showing the slightest sign of temperament - but make your way to a relatively open road, and its rocket-sled time.
  
   Flung forward
   The power is impressive all through the rpm range, but from 3,500 to 6,000 or so, it feels as though the afterburners have cut in. You're not so much pushed forward as flung.
   The word I get from the car mags is that 0-60 mph times well below 5 seconds are very much part of the program. That's edging into Corvette territory - and in a two-ton vehicle, it's beyond impressive.
   Everything else is up to that daunting standard. The brakes are at once enormously effective and reassuringly smooth in operation. Of course, they have to be if they're to haul you down from the blistering speeds the M5 can attain.
   Handling is precise and predictable, without a sign of temperament. The car isn't exactly agile - remember those two tons - but it's up to both the BMW standard and to the laws of physics.
   The bad news? Your M5 does have a bit of a drinking problem, but c'mon: Somebody's got to feed all those horses.
   The even worse news? Unless you've already got your M5 or have a firm commitment from a dealer, you're looking at a long, long wait. Evidently there are a lot of people out there who have both the scratch and the aesthetic sense to indulge - heavily - in understated excess.
  

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