Nick Jimenez

Sunday, January 23, 2000

Cuba sends its best arbiters - grandmothers

My grandmother couldn't speak English, she couldn't drive a car and if she had any formal schooling, I was never aware of it. Her chief interests were her grandkids, her church and her knitting. But I knew, even as a kid growing up with her, that my grandmother had my best interests at heart. When she spoke up on my behalf, I knew I had the best advocate I could find.
   That's why I feel a whole lot better now about whatever happens to little Elian Gonzalez. His abuelitas have come.
   Elian, of course, is the six-year-old boy who was found Nov. 25 floating in the seas between Cuba and the United States. His mother and 10 others drowned when their boat capsized as they attempted to escape from Fidel Castro's Cuba.
   The Immigration and Naturalization Service ruled that the boy must be returned to his father in Cuba. Since then, the boy has become the poster child for everyone's cause. For Miami's Cuban community and other rabid anti-Castro operatives, Elian has become a tool against their bitter enemy, Fidel. The little boy has been treated to a trip to see Barney at Universal City, he has been showered with gifts, including a Labrador puppy, and his cherubic face has been plastered over major newsmagazines. His relatives in Miami vowed to protect the boy from the publicity onslaught but have not been above using the cuteness factor to gain leverage in their fight to keep the boy in the United States.
   Castro, of course, is not far behind in manipulating the Elian Gonzalez issue. Thousands of Cubans, including children, have been demonstrating on the island for the boy's return. His father has appeared on Nightline. As always, Castro knows just how to rattle the cage of the Cuban exiles.
   The child has become a pawn. There has been talk of special congressional action to make him a citizen. A congressman wants to have him testify before Congress. About what? How much he likes to see Barney on TV?
   Deciding where Elian will go is not about where he can get the most gifts, or get the most "Happy Meals." If we started deciding that the welfare of a child depends on who can get the most Pokemons out on the bargaining table, not many of us would get to keep our kids. My own kids tell me: Dad, everyone else has cable, why don't we? So take me to family court; my kids are living in brutal non-cable conditions.
   On Friday, his maternal and paternal grandmothers arrived in the United States. This is a good turn of events for Elian. Everyone else may have an ax to grind about Elian's fate, but abuelitas are above politics, they're above the INS, they're above Castro. Who could deny that a grandmother has anything but the best interests of her grandchild at heart?
   Elian's case under any circumstances would be difficult. His mother died trying to find a better life for herself and her son. But would she have wanted this circus that has grown up around little Elian? Would she have wanted her little boy to become a sound bite in a presidential campaign?
   Any kid knows that he or she can always get a sympathetic ear with grandma. Grandmas and grandpas dote on their grandkids. Parents have to be the bad guys on occasion. They have to be responsible for raising adults. But grandparents, just like my grandmother, accept kids exactly as they are, just kids.
   And kids know this and take advantage. We, my sister and I, could do things at my grandmother's house my parents would never allow us to do. We ate off TV trays while we watched cartoons all Saturday morning, a definite no-no at our house. She let us lay on the sofa, a thing that got you a quick whack back home. My mother saw this, but what could she do? It was my grandmother.
   My guess is that Elian's family in Miami and his family in Cuba will come to some kind of understanding. They have to. His grandmothers have come.
   (Nick Jimenez can be reached by phone at 886-3787 or by e-mail at jimenezn@caller.com.)
  
  

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