Thursday, February 24, 2000

Group helps widows ready to be helped

John Kennedy/Caller-Times

Sisters Therese Blanchette (left) and Patrick Bruen conduct a support group for widows at St. Pius X Church.

When Lillian Speed's husband of 53 years died, she thought her own life had ended.
   "I thought I wasn't going to be able to survive," Speed said. "When you lose your husband, life is not ever the same."
   Eight years later, Speed still thinks about him every day, but with the help of a widow's support group at St. Pius X Church, she found purpose and meaning in life again.
   Speed credits the group, particularly the two women at its helm - Sister Therese Blanchette and Sister Patrick Bruen. The two belong to the Sisters of Our Lady of Charity, but a more fitting description for the women, as Speed says, would be "angels here on Earth."
   Bruen and Blanchette are quick to point out that the widows supporting one another make the group successful. But the widows say differently.
   "These are two of the most loving and caring people you'll ever meet," says Ella Nicolas, who has been a member of the support group since her husband's death 13 years ago. "It's a wonderful ministry that they've put together. There's a lot of camaraderie, a lot of visiting, laughing and talking. Friendships are made there and it's a group that just seems to grow each year."
   'Nobody understood or cared'
   Established in 1987 by Bruen shortly after her arrival at St. Pius X, the support group today is one of the few Catholic ministries dedicated to the needs of widows. St. Pius X also offers a support group for widowers, led by St. Pius' Monsignor Richard Shirley.
   The widow's support group meets for a noon luncheon at the parish hall the third Wednesday of every month. The group has 55 members and welcomes widows of all faiths.
   When dealing with widows so overcome by grief that they've withdrawn from the world at a time they need comfort and support the most, Bruen said she need only recall the death of her own father to understand the depths of solitude that they are experiencing.
   "When I was 17 and about ready to graduate from high school, my father died and I remember feeling that my whole world had come crashing down," Bruen said. "I thought nobody understood or cared about me.
   'They are not alone'
   "And this is what we want people to understand. That they are not alone, that there is someone there ready to help, be it on an individual basis or in a support group."
  
 

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