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Sunday, December 26, 1999
Farmer's perspective on Y2K
Also: Marketing genius deserves recognition
As delicious as Honey Nut Cheerios are in the shape of an "O," wouldn't they taste even better if every fourth one in the box were shaped like a "2?"
Whether the world ends or not on New Year's Eve, as businesses large and small struggled to prepare for Y2K, the Cheerios question kept nagging. That's because we have General Mills to thank for introducing "Millenios," described as "brown-sugar sweetened, whole grain oats and corn in the shape of 2's and O's." The promotions package that arrived in this office months ago included a tiny plastic bottle, shaped like a champagne bottle, with actual liquid inside. "Will not stain," the label promises. "Non-toxic but do not drink."
For this reason, Millenios earns the Stupidest Y2K Marketing Ploy award.
H.E. Butt Grocery Co. reports that it has stocked Millenios but wouldn't say how sales were going. One company official described them as "kind of a fun addition to a breakfast" and another said they could be a collector's item.
On the other end of the marketing spectrum, the Wish I'd Have Thought Of It award goes to the creators of Y2K Bug Spray, a $5.95 bottle of air freshener. A close second goes to Carol Reid, author of "Catastrophic Cooking: Eating Right When All Is Wrong." She'd have won first place, except that she had to compile recipes, which involved actual work. The Thanks But No Thanks award goes to Desbrow and Associates, a Pittsburgh public relations firm that gave Y2K survival kits to its clients. The kits were tool boxes containing a flashlight, a pocket knife, Sterno, matches, duct tape, bottled water, aspirin, toilet paper, Spam, jerky, baked beans, insect repellent, a deck of cards and a Hershey bar. The firm thought the idea clever enough to issue a news release about it.
Watching time
The I'd Prefer A Rolex award goes to the makers of the CountDown watch, which not only tells regular analog time but also counts the hours, minutes and seconds digitally to the fateful moment. "It's ideal for technologists involved in developing systems to meet the new millennium," according to the company. Those math whizzes should be able to figure that in their heads. Fortunately, the watch, which costs $79.95, can be set for other momentous countdowns such as company product launches. Rolex, by the way, gets a Missed Opportunity award for not pointing out that its watches are unaffected by Y2K because they're the old-fashioned mechanical self-winding kind.
This could be the last chance to recognize Y2K marketing genius. As we near the digital flip to double zeros that has frightened computer programmers worldwide, news of Y2K marketing gimmicks has died down but faxed declarations of Y2K readiness from industries and government agencies have increased.
Nothing down on the farm
Imagine the relief we felt at this bit of news from Nueces County agricultural extension agent Harvey Buehring: "South Texas Farmers and Ranchers Not Expecting Any Y2K Glitches."
Buehring, in a recent column, put the Y2K bug into much-needed common-sense perspective - so much needed that the only right thing to do is quote shamelessly from it:
"Recently, I was asked by a reporter what farmers and ranchers in the area were doing to prepare for Y2K. I indicated that the farmers were busy putting out fertilizer and herbicide on next year's crop land and that ranchers were moving hay, mineral and supplement to pastures. The reporter seemed impressed and wanted to know more, until I mentioned that these were the usual preparations that take place every year in December."
Buehring told the reporter that "so far all the cows and plows seem to be Y2K-ready." But then he went on to treat the subject a bit more seriously. He explained to the reporter that computers didn't control the internal, day-to-day operations of most South Texas farms and ranches and that their main concern was the Y2K readiness of their service and energy providers.
Prepare as if for a storm
He advised farmers and ranchers to make sure their computers and computer-controlled equipment are Y2K-compliant.
He suggested stocking up on the same supplies that coastal residents buy in preparation for a hurricane: nonperishable foods, bottled water, prescription and nonprescription drugs if used regularly, flashlights, batteries. He suggested withdrawing cash "as if going on a vacation" but also said the same thing that bankers have been saying: "Remember, the bank is the safest place for your money."
He gave some potentially lifesaving advice not to run a generator in an enclosed place such as a garage with the door shut.
"And finally," he wrote, "don't buy sardines and 'beanie-weenies' by the case load unless you love them and eat them regularly."
Who'd argue?
Tom Whitehurst
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© 1999 Caller-Times Publishing Company
Corpus Christi Caller Times, a Scripps Howard
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