Corpus Christi Caller-Times TV/Radio by Elaine Liner, media critic

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Elaine Liner is Caller-Times' media critic. Her columns are published Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays. She has been known to occasionally gossip with her readers in the Elaine Liner Forum. Elaine can be reached at linere@caller.com

Sunday, December 12, 1999

'Hefner' makes boring mess of bunny biz

USA movie chronicles the eccentricities and women of the Playboy founder

   So many truly awful moments unfold in "Hefner: Unauthorized" (7 p.m. today, USA Network), it's hard to decide which one qualifies as The Worst Scene.
   There's the one where Hugh Marston Hefner (played woodenly by Randall Batinkoff) sings. That's right before Pauly Shore shows up as Lenny Bruce.
   Or the one where, as a college kid, Hef gets so turned on by his fiancee's confession of infidelity that he jumps her bones in the front seat of his Hupmobile (or whatever it was).
   Perhaps the very worst idea in this made-for-cable movie about the founder of Playboy magazine is having Hefner's secretary, Bobbie Arnstein, narrate it in disembodied voiceover. Besides being a hamhanded way of spilling the boring exposition, the use of Arnstein to tell the story seems especially awkward and misguided.
   Arnstein (played by Natasha Gregson Wagner) committed suicide in 1975 following a well-publicized drug bust. But that doesn't stop the writer of "Hefner: Unauthorized," J.B. White, from letting the Bobbie character keep telling what happened 10 and 20 years after her death, as though she were her boss' guardian angel. Weird.
   The life of the bunny king has had some fascinating twists and turns. He started Playboy (originally titled "Stag Party") with a $500 loan from his straitlaced mother. He married the first woman he made love to, but let the relationship founder as he became obsessed with creating America's first mainstream nudie mag.
   The movie chronicles Hef's well-known eccentricities - the silk pajamas, the Pepsi addiction, his near-agoraphobia about stepping outside his various Playboy-financed mansions.
   And it dwells on the many women in his life. Barbi Benton (Rebecca Herbst) is the bouncy cheerleader he met and deflowered when she was still a teenager.
   "I've never dated anyone older than 24," Barbi tells Hef.
   "Neither have I," he replies.
   During that relationship, he continues to sample the pleasures of the parade of nubile centerfold girls who waft through the halls of Hef central.
   He marries again - Playmate of the Year Kimberly Conrad (played by Rebecca Romijn-Stamos) - and has more children.
   He has a stroke and recovers well enough to discover Viagra, divorce Kimberly and take up with girls less than a third his age.
   "I get older," Hef has often said, "but they never do."
   Maybe not, but this kind of slapdash bio-pic definitely does.
   Also this week

"A Season for Miracles," 8 p.m. Sunday, CBS. The Hallmark Hall of Fame people present special No. 203. The children of a struggling drug addict move to a new town with their aunt and find a community of caring people. Patty Duke plays three roles; Kathy Baker, Laura Dern, Lynn Redgrave, Faith Prince and Carla Gugino each play only one.

"The Greatest Millennium," 10 p.m. Wednesday, Comedy Central. How did our 1,000 years compare to the previous millennium? "The Daily Show" people say they did a show like this 10 centuries ago, so they should be in a good position to know. This hilarious special packs way more laughs into the material than last week's Dennis Miller-hosted millennium comedy hour on HBO. Don't miss it.

"The Preacher's Wife," 7 p.m. Saturday, ABC. Denzel Washington and Whitney Houston star in this 1996 romantic comedy about the pastor of a poor church in Newark, N.J., whose faith is tested even after an angel arrives on the scene. In the title role, Houston gets plenty of opportunities to sing. With Courtney B. Vance and Gregory Hines. A remake of the old David Niven-Cary Grant movie "The Bishop's Wife."

"Radio City Music Hall's Grand Re-Opening Gala," 9 p.m. Saturday, NBC. Even if can't make it up to Manhattan for this year's Christmas show, you might enjoy seeing the results of a $70 million restoration that took seven months. It was the first complete overhaul since the huge theater opened in 1932. This re-opening celebration, taped Oct. 4, drew an array of celebrity performers, including Liza Minnelli, Billy Crystal, Shirley Jones and Sting.

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